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You Know You’re In Arizona When ….<br>
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You think Taco Bell is the local phone company. <br>
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You notice your car overheating before you drive it.<br>
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You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.<br>
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You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.<br>
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You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour...and it will be over
100 degrees.<br>
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You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car,
because your steering wheel is so hot.<br>
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The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance.<br>
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You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use
your fireplace.<br>
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You realize that "Valley Fever" isn't a disco dance.<br>
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You can make sun tea instantly.<br>
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Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.<br>
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It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets
are totally empty of both cars and people.<br>
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You actually burn your hand opening the car door.<br>
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Sunscreen is sold year round and kept right at the checkout counter.<br>
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You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.<br>
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Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools
will actually buy them. Worse.....some fools actually try to jog.<br>
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You can pronounce Saguaro, Tempe, San Xavier, Canyon de Chelly,
Mogollon Rim, and Cholla.<br>
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You can understand the reason for a town named "Why"<br>
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You can fry an egg on the hood of a car in the morning.<br>
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You know hot air balloons can't rise because the air temperature is
hotter than the air inside the balloon.<br>
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No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car.<br>
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You see two trees fighting over a dog.<br>
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You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.<br>
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You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt
River<br>
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You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves<br>
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You hear people say "but it's a dry heat!"<br>
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You buy salsa by the gallon.<br>
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Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags.<br>
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You think a red light is merely a suggestion.<br>
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All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear
out come the end of April.<br>
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You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.<br>
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Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los."<br>
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You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.<br>
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Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.<br>
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Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.<br>
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Most homes have more firearms than people.<br>
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Kids ask, "What's a mosquito?"<br>
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People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are
automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.<br>
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You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're
wearing shorts.<br>
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If you haven't worked for Motorola at some time, you must be a newcomer.<br>
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You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.<br>
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You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.<br>
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You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from
Arizona.<br>
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You take rain dances seriously. <br>
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You've signed so many petitions to recall governors you can't remember
the name of the incumbent.<br>
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When a rainy day puts you in a good mood. <br>
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When you drive two miles around a parking lot looking for a shady place
- even in the dead of winter. <br>
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You feed your chickens ice cubes to keep them from laying hard-boiled
eggs. <br>
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You "hug" a cactus only once in your lifetime. <br>
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When you have to look up "mass transit" in the dictionary.<br>
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A hundred ten in the shade is sorta hot, but you don't have to shovel
it off your driveway. <br>
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You wear a bola tie.<br>
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You take a stroll on Ho Hum Way.<br>
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The beer is chilled and filled with chili.<br>
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A haboob happens.<br>
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Petrified doesn't mean scared.<br>
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Standin' on the corner sounds good.<br>
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The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.<br>
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You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the
toilet bowl.<br>
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You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.<br>
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You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.<br>
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You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.<br>
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